Personal Photo: I love our little family, and I am so grateful for all the ways I have grown since Austin was born. There is something magical about the way God touches a person when they have a child. The Lord amazes me every single day with His design!
The whirring of the ceiling fan filled the air in the room and the rhythmic sound made me feel small and cozy. I leaned back in the chair, listened to my son's peaceful breathing against my chest and I considered the journey we travelled to get to where we are tonight. It has been several weeks since posting a new article for Sonshine Lane and the reason for that is the birth of our son, Austin. He was born in early September and since the moment we met him, we have been learning what it means to be parents and figuring out what life looks like for us with him in it. Clunky and slow, we have found joy in every change, crawling through challenging days and reveling in smoother ones.
Now that we are a month into this whole parenting thing, I find myself stunned at how fast time has been going, and often thinking back to how I felt when he was born, the fear of not knowing how I was going to do it, the tears of uncertainty, and the relearning of myself. Having a child is certainly a significant event, but I think it reminded me to never become complacent with myself. Through this change I have seen the world with an entirely new perspective, and I found myself seeking the guidance of the Lord as every day brings with it something new to learn. One of the biggest challenges for me was to force myself to depend on my faith. I have always considered my faith to be the foundation I leaned on first and foremost when I was struggling with something, be it fear, frustration, anger, sadness, etc. However, I realized that I had much room for improvement when Austin entered the world.
I think what caused this paralysis of my faith was my normality melting somewhere into the past. My comfort zone was gone, and I was forced to find God in spaces I had never been in before, situations I had never experienced, and times that I was usually asleep. When I think of this, I cannot help but remember how in the Bible, we are told of the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, away from slavery, all because the Lord intercedes for them, provides for them, and protects them from harm. Every step of the way, the Israelites are found complaining, fearful they will not make it another day, worried they left something better than what is to come, and doubting the ability to reach safety. They left their comfort zone when they left Egypt, and although they were slaves and tormented, it was considered their normal. When that normal shattered, they failed to recognize how God continued to provide for them. Before now, I would always struggle to relate to the Israelites and felt as though they had such little faith from day to day. However, we can all relate to the Israelites a little more than we think we do at first.
Change is something that many of us struggle to prepare for, which is often an avenue for the devil to plant the seed of fear and doubt. Resisting change might help keep us in our carefully crafted comfort zones, but it restricts the ability to grow. In this way, we find ourselves forced to endure change and it creates an opportunity to lean on our faith. Instead of freezing when we are faced with fear and turbulence, we can remind ourselves that when everything around us is burning to the ground, our faith can withstand the heat. Joshua 1:9 tells us "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God goes with you wherever you go." This verse is particularly powerful because of its element of movement. When we are afraid of what lies ahead, we plant our feet firmly where we are, just like the Israelites grumbling about leaving Egypt. Change brings new challenges, but the past has familiarity on its side. This verse from Joshua explains to us that wherever we go, the Lord goes with us. He is with us in every new experience, every challenging time, every moment of grief and confusion. It encourages us to keep moving when He calls us somewhere new and comforts us with the companionship of His familiar grace.
We, just like the Israelites, might find it challenging to find peace in seasons of chaos. We struggle to understand the 'why' behind hardships, we feel isolated when we are pushing ourselves too hard, and we forget our faith when we are faced with insecurity. However, recognizing these things in our life allows us to seek God for His peace, to make point of remembering our faith, and to go to God with all of our needs. Philippians 4:6-7 states "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." These verses remind us of the power of our faith. God is right there for us; we just need to remember to reach out to Him. He is eager to calm us, to remind us that He is in charge, and to embrace us with His peace. While it might be tempting to give into the fear of the future, the instability of the unknown, and the worry for our wellbeing, we must remember that we are part of the Lord's almighty plan, and while we might not understand why we are going through our current circumstances, we are able to turn to Him and trust in His promises for us.
At first glance, the Israelites seem ungrateful. They are shown glorious demonstrations of what the Lord is capable of doing in order to protect them and provide for them, and yet they fail to trust that He will do it for another day. We might feel as though we have stronger faith and a better relationship with God, but don't we do the same things? When we are faced with tribulation and the unknown, we can easily forget all of the ways God provided for us up until this moment. We let the devil trick us into fear and we miss moments where God is right next to us. While it might seem discouraging to realize we might be more similar to the Israelites than we first thought, I think it makes the power of God closer to our hearts. When we recognize that God continued to love and protect them even though they struggled with their faith, we are reminded that He will do the same for us. We can work on growing our faith when we realize it needs some work, and we can depend on the Lord to guide us through every new experience. This can be seen through James 1:2-4, which reads "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Growing in our faith allows us to appreciate how God loved the Israelites through their impatience and imperfection, and how He does the same with us as we learn to lean on the Lord!
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